So you have heard of this thing called Family Style Meals?  But what is it and should you be serving meals this way to your kids?

Happy National Family Meals month! Every September our country celebrates family meals by celebrating and supporting you in enjoying more meals together as a family.  A friendly reminder that meals together don’t just have to be dinner, it can be breakfast, lunch or even a snack. These days everyones schedules are different so sitting down to dinner together may not work for you and your family, so do what works best for you!

Family meals is all about connecting and enjoying your time together. It’s not about getting our kids to eat. One of my favorite ways to serve meals is family style. I find meals are less stressful and happier when everyone serves themselves. And without any force or pressure my kids are more likely to try a new food or eat a larger variety of foods.

What is Family Style Meals?

Family style meals are when you serve all foods in bowls, plates or platters on the table. Food is passed around the table and everyone serves themselves what and how much they want on to their plate.

How to Serve Family Style Meals?

1. Place the cooked or prepared foods on the table in bowls, plates or platters.
2. Try to plan meals with at least 3 if not all 5 food groups. Planning meals so that there is a least one food available on the table that everyone enjoys. This can be a different food for everyone if their are different food preferences at the table.
3. Pass the food around the table in a circle to everyone at the table. Or place serving dishes in the center of the table where everyone can reach the food.
4. Let everyone serve themselves. They can choose what they want to put on their plate from what is offered and how much they want.

What if my kids are too young to serve themselves?

1. Children under 3 may need additional help to pass food or serve themselves. You can allow them to tell you how much they want or when to stop.
2. As your child gets older 3+ they can start using serving utensils like spoons, tongues to serve themselves.
3. By age 5 and up children can help passing platters and bowls of food.

Benefits of serving meals family style?

1. Great way to build gross and fine motor skills. Like balance, passing, holding and scooping.
2. Great way to learn and practice table manners. Please can I have..? No thank you.. I’m full.. I’m still hungry could I please have more…?
3. Practice patience as they wait for food to be passed.
4. Follows division of responsibility in feeding allowing children to choose what foods to eat and learn (over time) how much food they need to feel full and satisfied.
5. Great way to expose children to new foods without pressure to eat. Even if they choose not to take something that is offered they have been exposed to the food through sight, and smell as they pass food around the table.

Concerns about serving Family Style Meals:

1. What if my child takes nothing?  This is the number 1 most common concern. Make sure to offer at least 1 food that your child enjoys eating, this way they will have something to fill up on and hopefully next time they will try another food as well. Also if they don’t eat anything that’s ok, maybe they aren’t feeling well or ate a snack too close to the meal.
2. What if my child takes a lot of one food, leaving nothing left for others? This is where teaching manners comes in. Politely remind your child that the food is for sharing, take a scoop or 1 piece of chicken and then once everyone has served themselves and if they are still hungry they make take another serving.

Tips for Easier Serving and Clean Up of Family Style Meals

• Serve food in pots and dishes that they are cooked in. If the food is hot it’s always ok to help your younger kids and ask how much they would like or when to stop serving.
• Serve food in dishes you can use to store leftovers in.
• Find a serving dish with multiple compartments that can be used for meals like make your own tacos, salads, or sandwiches etc.

What are families who have tried family style meals saying?

For many families that I work with who are struggling with what to offer at meals, picky or selective eaters, chaotic meal times, or getting their kids to eat or try new foods (basically you name it!) I often recommend starting Family Style Meals.

And what do I hear afterwards?

1. Their kids are trying foods they never thought they would eat!
2. Dinner time is much more enjoyable and calm.
3. Kids are eating a larger variety of foods.
4. Parents are getting up less times from the table to get food.
5. Parent’s actually enjoy their food with their kids.
6. Able to connect at dinner versus stress about what their kids will or won’t eat.
7. Less time spent preparing and cooking food because everyone is eating the same meal versus preparing multiple meals.

For more how to start family meals download my Guide to Happier and Healthier Mealtimes!